Hasn't Been Caught
by Playfulpippapony
Summary: They say good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught, and that is definitely the case for one Dr Linda Martin. A group of one shots about the times Maze finds her girlfriend doing 'bad' things. Maze x Linda (Laze).
1. Girl Like You

**Let's get one thing straight... I ship Linda and Maze.**

 **Ok, now that's out of the way, welcome to my collection of one shots. These will all center around Linda doing something, not out of character, but something a therapist should probably not be caught doing (like sleeping with her patients). I understand being drunk isn't a sin, but it was the only thing I could think of that wouldn't get her arrested. Plus, we all know this is Maze's song. (If you didn't, it's the song playing when Maze considers killing Chloe in her sleep).**

 **p.s- The title is based off of the 5 Seconds of Summer song.**

 **p.s.s- I do not own Lucifer, any of the songs mentioned, or a pair of angel wings. It's sad, but true.**

* * *

If Maze was asked to describe her girlfriend she would say things like 'clever' or 'calm and level headed'. Maybe she was occasionally hyper (mostly when supernatural things start happening), but for the most part Linda is a reasonably well balanced human… but not tonight.

Maze watched with fondness as her usually semi-shy girlfriend belted out another karaoke number. She was currently singing ' _Hips Don't Lie_ ' by Shakira, trying to sway her hips in time to the beat. Maze found it slightly adorable.

She, Linda, Ella and Chloe were out on a girls night, and Linda had had a few too many to drink. Around about the fifth drink Linda had decided that singing in front of a group of half drunk strangers was the best idea in the world and proceeded to take over the karaoke mic. Ella and Chloe carried on chatting, occasionally looking up at their tone deaf friend. Maze however just enjoyed seeing her girlfriend so happy.

When the song ended Linda looked through the options, smirking when she found one in particular. Hitting play the music began to pour out of the speakers either side of the stage. Maze recognized it, it was ' _Girl Like You_ ' by Edwyn Collins. Linda locked eyes with Maze as she began to sing the first lyrics.

"I've never met a girl like you before". Maze smiled knowing she'd picked this one specifically for her. It was true, Linda had never met a girl like her before, mainly because she's a demon forged in the bowels of Hell. "Now, just like in a song from days of yore". She listened as Linda slurred her way through the opening verse, smiling the whole time.

During the next verse however Linda started walking from the stage towards Maze, thankful that the microphone's cord was long enough to stretch that far. "You give me just a taste, so I want more". She licked her lips causing Maze to blush slightly. "Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw". She lowered her voice and, for the lack a better word, stalked towards her girlfriend. "'Cause now you've got me crawlin', crawlin' on the floor". Maze was thoroughly enjoying the show Linda was putting on, which both Ella and Chloe had stopped talking to watch.

By the time she reached Maze she was onto the next verse. "You've made me acknowledge the devil in me". At that Maze let out a snort of laughter, knowing Linda meant that verse quite literally. Not just because she knew Lucifer was really the Devil, but also because Maze helped her let loose and do stupid (and on occasion, sinful) things. As she sang that line she ran a finger down Maze's chest and between her breasts, causing a few of the male patrons the wolf whistle. "I hope for him I'm talking metaphorically". She smiled, knowing Linda had changed the words so she was talking about Lucifer, knowing God wouldn't care whether she was the Devil or not.

Grinding up against Maze Linda kept singing, eventually dragging her out onto the dance floor (stumbling slightly) as she finished the song. "I've never met a girl like you before", and as the music drew to a close she kissed Maze deeply in front of everyone at the bar. Ella and Chloe cheered and applauded while others either clapped their hands or wolf whistled.

When she pulled away Linda tried to give Maze a seductive look (which didn't really work because she was still quite drunk, but Maze still found it cute). Holding her girlfriend upright she carefully walked her back to the bar and up onto the stool next to Chloe.

"Wow Doc!" Ella exclaimed. "That was awesome!" She then took a large sip of her pina colada and smiled at the pair.

"It really was!" Chloe looked over at Maze who was smiling fondly at Linda, her cheeks slightly darker than usual. "What did you think Maze?" Chloe teased, a small smirk forming on her lips.

Maze didn't say anything, she just grabbed Linda by her shirt and kissed her. When she pulled back she got off her stool and dragged Linda with her.

"Where are we going?"

"The bathroom" Maze replied sharply, still walking towards her destination.

"Why?"

"To have sex! Got a problem with that?"

"No! No problem at all".

"Good".

Chloe and Ella watched the whole thing from the bar, drunk enough to not be disgusted, but sober enough to still be surprised. "Um, what just happened?" Ella asked, turning to look at Chloe. Chloe was still staring at the retreating couple.

"If the sounds I can hear from Maze's bedroom at night are any indication, Linda is about to have the best shag of her life".


	2. Hell's Not So Bad

**I really want someone to talk to Linda about religion, either in therapy or in public, and say things like "The Devil made me do it, he made me sin" and Linda has to stay neutral, when inside she's like " _Don't blame my friend for your crimes Mr!_ ".**

 **This was the first chapter I thought of when I decided I wanted to write something about Linda doing 'bad' things. I feel like in this situation Maze would just break into their house at night and beat them up, while Linda would have a different approach.**

 **I do not own Lucifer, if I did Maze and Linda would have kissed by now.**

* * *

 _And it had been going so well._

Linda and Maze had been out on a date (and by date they meant lunch, but Maze saw everything she did with Linda as a date). They'd just left the restaurant and had been walking hand in hand for about three minutes when they were stopped by the sound of someone yelling "Gays will burn in Hell!"

They looked behind them to see a street preacher glaring at them. He had a small audience of people, most of which were only their to mock him. Maze knew he had been talking about them, she'd met a lot of homophobs in Hell and had enjoyed torching them especially. Their comments had never really bothered Maze since took pleasure knowing they would suffer in Hell, but she was worried Linda would be hurt. When she looked over at her girlfriend however she was surprised to see that she looked angry.

"Oh really?" Linda asked, still holding onto Maze's hand.

"To lie with one of the same sex is an abomination!" He pointed directly at them. "Have you no shame?"

"For what? Getting laid. Something you clearly haven't done in a while". The crowed gasped while one or two people started laughing.

The preacher looked nervous, but carried on anyway. "God can save your soul!"

"Actually, I've heard God is kinda a dick." Maze's jaw dropped, surprised by her girlfriend's blasphemous comment (even if it was true). "So, I'm good thanks".

Angered by her comments the preacher continued to shout at them, hoping to, if not save their souls, to at least save his dignity. "You will burn in Hell for all eternity!"

"You've already said that. Is that the only threat you got?". By this point Linda had let go of Maze's hand and had begun walking closer to the preacher.

"God only wants you to be happy. Let go of your sin!"

"Oh really? Because being with my _girlfriend_ makes me happy, and as for sin, if what we do in bed is a sin then I don't want to be saved". She looked over her shoulder to Maze and winked, Maze smirked back, still slightly in shock at what Linda was doing.

Desperate to win he tried one last thing. "Gays are the friends of the Devil!"

"You're darn right they are". And with that Linda grabbed his shoulders and kneed him, hard, in the groin. He stood frozen still for a moment before falling to the ground once Linda let go. She left him wheezing on the floor as she turned around and walked back to Maze. Taking hold of her hand she continued walking, like nothing had ever happened.

"So, did you enjoy lunch?" Linda asked casually. Maze stared at her.

"You just kicked a guy in the balls and you're asking me about lunch!?" Linda kept looking ahead.

"Well, he totally deserved it". Maze couldn't argue with her there. "Besides, I'm apparently going to Hell anyway, why not enjoy the ride?" Maze let out a short laugh, then smiled at her girlfriend.

"I couldn't agree with you more".


	3. What Sick Days Are For

Maze was walking down the street, a black paper bag hanging in her left hand. She'd been shopping for… well, you can guess, and was now heading back to the apartment she shared with Chloe. She knew the detective was weird about her having _those_ kind of things around when her spawn is home, so while Maze still struggled to see why they were a problem, she had gotten into the habit of hiding them in her room before Chloe or her offspring got back.

About ten minutes before she got home her phone began to ring. Checking who was calling Maze smiled, it was her girlfriend. "Hey Linda! What's up?" She answered cheerfully. That's when Maze could hear Linda's slow, heavy breathing on the other end. "Are you ok?" Her tone was worried, afraid that someone might have hurt Linda.

" _I need you Maze_ ". Maze began to panic slightly. She pulled one of her blades out of her belt with the hand still holding the bag.

"What's happened? What's wrong?" She brought her knife up to eye level, ready to attack anything that even thought about hurting her girlfriend.

" _I'm horny_ ". Well, Maze hadn't expected that!

"What?" She asked disbelieving, lowering the blade.

" _I need you Maze, come home now_ ". It was an order, not a request. ' _What has gotten into her?_ '

"Aren't you supposed to be at work right now?"

" _I called in sick_ ". Maze was secretly impressed, Linda wasn't the sort of person who did this kind of thing (whatever _this_ was). " _Come home,_ now". Maze looked at her watch to see how far she was from both of their apartments.

"Where are you?"

" _Your house_ ". Maze had given her a key to her apartment back when they started dating three months ago in case of an emergency or something. She had never expected Linda to use it for a midday booty call! " _How fast can you get here?_ "

"About ten minutes". Maze quickened her pace, now closer to a jog than a walk. She may be surprised, but if her super hot girlfriend wants to have sex with her, she wasn't going to complain. Maze heard Linda moan on the other end of the line, she gulped. "Make that five".

* * *

 **I have no idea where this idea came from. It was probably inspired by season 1 Linda who would jump Lucifer's bones at the drop of a hat, but honestly I just don't know.**

 **Are there's any ideas you'd like me to write? Please comment and tell me.**

 **I do not own Lucifer (which may or may not be a good thing).**


	4. Where Nobody Looks

**This one is purely based on the song by 5 Seconds of Summer that this collection of one shots is named after. I know these days it's a lot easier to search things online than go to a library, but I needed an excuse to get them there.**

 **I do not own Lucifer or The Danish Girl (have you read that book? It's amazing!).**

* * *

The way humans felt the need to tell complete strangers about their personal problems never failed to amuse Maze. Sure, she did it as well, but that was different. She is a demon from Hell, everyone else is a squishy human who always has and always will live on Earth. They moan about bills, and relationships, and even sometimes their inability to be who they really are. Which led to the situation they were currently in.

Linda had had a patient who felt like they were transgender. Since her knowledge on the subject was limited she decided to go to the local library in search of a book her client had said was an inspiration to them. Which was why Linda was currently scanning the shelves looking for ' _The Danish Girl_ '. Maze suggested they just watched the film, but her girlfriend had refused, saying a book would better help her understand what her client is feeling.

Maze, having nothing better to do that day, had come along to help. They'd used the computer to locate the book in question and Linda was now searching for it on the shelves. Maze had been distracted, now looking at a small shelf dedicated to ' _Sex Education_ '. She had finished her third book (because for some reason supernatural beings can read very fast) when she heard Linda calling to her.

Maze poked her head around the corner to where Linda's voice had come from. "You found it?" She called out. Suddenly she was pulled by the front of her shirt down to the furthest corner of the shelves. Before she could say anything Linda started kissing her, holding on tightly to Maze's top.

When she finally pulled back it took Maze a second to recover. "Um, not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?". Instead of replying Linda just smirked then continued to kiss her. Maze just gave up and decided to enjoy the experience.

A few minutes of heavy making out later Linda finally released Maze, pulling a moan of disapproval from her. "I've always wanted to do that".

"What, make out with a demon in a library?" Maze replied teasingly. Linda shrugged. "Is there anything else you've always wanted to do?"

"Have sex in a library".

Before Linda could say anything else Maze was dragging her further into the library, hoping to find somewhere nobody would look, for books or them. Maze was perfectly happy to help tick things off her girlfriend's sexual bucket list, even if it meant more trips to the library.

* * *

 **If you have any ideas for future chapters please tell me in the comments.**


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